Overcoming performance anxiety men

Overcome Performance Anxiety In Bed

altDon’t we all dread it? When you should be elated for the fact that you are finally getting some ‘real action’,

the last thing you should be worried about is how you score. That might just take the fun out of it. However, performance anxiety is a syndrome most men suffer from. This is how you get rid of it:

Stop worrying, To Begin With

Image Credit: Thinkstock

The biggest cause of performance anxiety is shaken confidence. The more you worry about whether or not you will be able to please her, lesser will be the erotic charge in your approach. Sex has more to do with mind than with body. If you are not thinking right, even your fantasy girl won’t assure great times.

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One of the common reasons behind performance anxiety is that a man is too worried about what his partner would think of him, how the lady would evaluate his performance and if she is not impressed in bed, she won’t see him again, or won’t consider him a real man.alt So before you stack yourself up with such thoughts, begin with some self-respect. Or just dispense all the thoughts and considerations. Have fun without thinking that you are being judged for your performance and that should take you places.

Stop Having A Tunnel View

Sex is not all about a man’s erection and a woman’s Big O. When that is your only goal, you begin to see sex as a task that has to be done with. But more than the ‘climax’, it is the intimacy, the pleasure, the feeling of experiencing something exhilarating together that makes sex such an important part of our lives. Seeing sex as a job goes against the basic purpose of it.

Sex is about feeling relaxed, but being anxious before the moment raises the levels of cortisol and adrenaline, which only act as roadblocks to good sex. The fact that men create some negative impressions about their session even before it starts multiplies the levels of anxiety. Thus, stop stressing yourself. Talk about your fears with someone. While having sex, focus on the pleasure part of it.

Sex is one of the things where you have to quit worrying about the result, and just enjoy the process—while it lasts.

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Gay Men on Antidepressants with sexual anxieties

by hankhi

Any other gay men out there in the same boat? I am a GWM 41 who came out at the same time as HIV/AIDS appeared. Unlike most of my peers I was terrified and although openly gay.....stayed on the sidelines as far as sex went. I let my behavior become a phobia and along with alot of other anxieties I experience and some depression thrown in for good measure found myself at a complete nervous breakdown at 28. I have been on ssri antidepressants since and have made enormous strides (espicially using Ration Emotive Behavior Therapy...mostly on my own) I take a half of a Celexa daily. It probably isn't even working anymore but the placebo effect is amazing

Why do men take it so personally?

by unselfemployed

Sometimes we're tired
Sometimes we're distracted
Sometimes we're dealing with PMS/hormones
Sometimes the foreplay wasn't long enough
It's not the ride'em pony outside the supermarket, where you put in your quarter (or your dick) and the pony jumps up and down for a few minutes.
Sometimes we just enjoy the closeness
Sometimes we just enjoy making you happy
But do NOT add "performance anxiety" to the sexual menu: "Not only do I want sex daily, it has to be GREAT sex, that leaves you sweaty and screaming

What I

by KeepItMovin

Who are in their 40's is that they no longer have the stamina and sexual appetite that they once had as younger men. Also, stress, decreasing testosterone levels, high expectations to perform, etc, can really have a huge impact on a man's libido and sexual performance.
Does he have a high-stress job? Does he have any health problems? Is he taking any medications? These are all areas of his life that you need to consider for they all can impact his sexual performance.
During sex, have you told him what you want? Have you ever showed him how to touch you, etc. etc.? If you have, and he seems to pull back or not seem interested, it may be time to address any sexual issues with him

Mechanical and vanilla with no foreplay

by pooxxx

What happens when you express your need for cuddling, fondling, ego-boosting?
Are there things he's tried in bed (maybe when you were first together) that you reacted strongly to in a negative way? That discourages experimental behavior and kills passion. Is he intimidated by your vigor and is he afraid that you'll want more than he can give? Does that give him performance anxiety of sorts?
Rather than assuming the problem is with him (low sex drive, attracted to men, etc) take a look at your relationship and how things have really been over the time you've been together

Men are visualists

by bizzy_beez

So it's not uncommon for you to have to get a mental picture of soemthing that turns you on to orgasm. It sounds like you might be having some mild anxiety when you're with a person physically. You might be stressed about your performance or focusing too much on the grand finale. Once you get with a partner that you are comfortable with physically and emotionally, your anxiety should subside. good luck.

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Stop Anxiety: Overcoming Performance Anxiety Tips Part 1
Stop Anxiety: Overcoming Performance Anxiety Tips Part 1
Stop Anxiety: Overcoming Performance Anxiety Tips Part 2
Stop Anxiety: Overcoming Performance Anxiety Tips Part 2
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